I'm going crazy because I can't sign onto AIM. I didn't realize until now how much I rely on it to talk to my friends. ;_; And I was really looking forward to getting some writing sprints done after class, but it won't let me log in and they are apparently having trouble with their servers as it won't even let me change my password like their site is telling me to do. @_@

...I've got school tomorrow and I'm totally and completely freaking out about it right now. Like, it just hit me two minutes ago that I've got school in the morning, even though I've known for weeks that school starts tomorrow... And yeah. I'm only taking one class this semester because the other classes I need to take I can't get to or don't work with my schedule. So I'm going to be focusing more on getting a job besides just babysitting (because I've had almost no money for weeks now as I didn't have I didn't have to do a lot of babysitting over the holidays). Let me tell you, though... Applying is hard when you don't know how to put babysitting as your past job or whatever. Unfortunately I don't have any other experience, but I don't want to put nothing as dealing with kids and parents kind of prepares you for taking a lot of crap, you know? But yeah, I'm gonna make my sister help me with that one later.

But school is still freaking me out... Last semester I took ASL (American Sign Language) I. So this semester I'm taking ASL II. I've tried to keep up on my signs, make sure I can still remember some of the more basic ones. I can still say "I don't remember" "What's your name" "First" "Last" "Office" a bunch more. I'm not very good at actual sentences, but I remember more than I do after 1 semester in ASL than 3 years of Spanish. But I'm really nervous because last semester was, as my professor put it, 'baby signing'. Just learning the basics, how to ask questions, movement, fingerspelling, that kind of thing. This new semester is going to be focused on storytelling.

Now, last semester, every time we had a test we would do a warm up before we took it. Called "Pass It On". It was basically 'Telephone' only with signs, right? Well, the teacher would choose 4 people to go up in front of the class and 3 ppl would stand facing the white board while the other person stood facing the class and the teacher. Then the teacher would sign that person something and they would turn around, tap the person in front of them's shoulder and sign it to them, the so on until you reach the person in front and they have to write down what you just signed on the white board. And you'd go through until everyone wrote on the white board once. Well... we had 7 or 8 tests, right? I got chosen as part of that 4 all but 2 times. And I'm terrified to go up in front of anyone for anything. And that was just for warm-ups for signs I already know.

This semester is all about storytelling!! Which means more going in front of the class. By myself! And having to sign stories and get it right! *whimpers* I'm so freaking scared, you wouldn't believe. My teacher last semester said that the professor we get for ASL 2 will try to scare us into dropping (mostly just because everything is so much more difficult). He was giving us the warning to tell us not to give up, because it's worth it. And I believe it is worth it. I haven't yet put my signing to use for anything, but I have actually seen people signing in stores and stuff and I wouldn't have known what they were doing if I hadn't taken the class. It was a lot of fun last semester and the only class I got an A in when I checked my grades after finals. But I'm just so damn scared and nervous about having to go up in front of people and making a fool of myself (because I'm really good at that, especially when I'm nervous)... So, I just, needed to rant and get that out there.

Also, all this nervous energy has made me extremely restless and I'm crazy bored, so I'm going back and looking through my unfinished fics hoping to get more done so that I can update stuff or post something new soon! So, maybe my freaking out will benefit you guys, huh? lol

~wolfish willow

...This weekend has been a mixture of good and not so good and I decided I want to post about it because if I can't whine here, where can I? lol

The good:

Yesterday morning I woke to the sounds of my parents cleaning the front of the house and decided to just chill in my room until they decided to come get me to help out. I was half asleep, and not really paying much attention until my younger sister and mom started arguing. Mom told her she wanted the kitchen clean before she had to go to work and my sister refused to do it, saying none of it was her mess, so she wasn't going to pick it up. And my Dad yelled at her that if she doesn't want to clean up, then she can get out.

Then my Dad went back to her room to get her boyfriend (who's been living here for months now) to come help move this new antique they just bought. While he was out there my older sister pointed to the pots and pans on the sink and told him it was his shit and he needed to clean it up. He goes "Jeez, you don't have to be rude. You could have just asked." And all this is going on while both of my parents are still out there with them, so my mom tells him, "Excuse me. I did ask, and you still haven't done it."

So it somehow became a fight between him and my Dad and Dad finally told him he was kicked out (they only said they were going to do it on New Years, and it never happened *rolls eyes*). So he and my younger sister left the house sometime yesterday. I only left my room because my parents had finally left to see a movie and if I'd gone out there before that, it would have been turned on me somehow, so it was safer in my room.

The not so good:

My sister just got home an hour and a half ago, and snuck her bf back in (which I expected as she did that the last time they told her he wasn't allowed in the house). So I went to the tv room to tell my parents that she brought him home and they didn't. do. anything. WTF? >.< So, that's the suck.

Some more good:

Went with my older sister to her friend's house for a get together. Had a margarita, which was totally tasty. OM NOM NOM. So much better than anything with Vodka I've ever tried. yuck.

Did my laundry today, which rocks because I have clean clothes again. w00t!

And got a few more words added to the fics I've been working on.

Oh, and I just wanted to thank preferthemoss for my awesome virtual gift. I've never gotten one before and that was such a joy to see in my inbox! *smishes*

...and it's not even noon yet!

So, I feel like a total jerk right now.

I had to get up early to take my niece to school today (because my older sister had training for her new job today w00t!). I did, walked her to school. Walked home.

Then mom got home and took me out because I needed to get a calculator for my Astronomy "mid-term". Did that, got some breakfast, came back home. I ate, read a little fanfiction. It was good.

At 10:30 this morning, I grabbed my stuff and my mom drove me to school.

Walked up to my class, which starts at 11 (it was around 10:50 when I got there, I think) and come to find out that class has been cancelled. My next class isn't until 12:30. So I borrow a cell phone ('cause they took out the payphones at school and I can't afford to buy a cell right now) and call mom.

She comes to pick me up. Just got home. I'll have to wake her up in an hour to take me back.

All this when she's been up all night working, and she's supposed to pick my niece up from school, since I've got class and won't be able to.

But I just went in and begged my younger sister if she could pick up our niece instead, let mom get that extra hour of sleep before our dad gets home and makes her get up. (And if you knew me and my younger sister, you would understand how big of a deal it was for me to beg her for something). She thankfully agreed, so at least I have some good news to give my mom when I wake her up. *facepalm*

So, yeah. Today's shapin' up to be one of "those" days...

...tired... >.<

Does anybody else out there have a family member whose voice just grates on your sanity nerves?

I went to bed earlier than usual tonight. Around 1 or 2 in the morning. I don't have school today, I was just really tired after my friends went home and was looking forward to sleeping.

Only, I was woken up half an hour ago (4 something AM) by my sister and her boyfriend giggling/laughing in her bedroom. And I'm fucking pissed! And near tears. Because I just want to sleep, damnit. But I can't because they just keep fucking laughing and talking and I don't know when the fuck they sleep because I've noticed more and more the past couple of days that they're still talking when I'm up until 5 in the morning without sleeping. And then my sister goes to work (her slacker boyfriend just hangs out in her room or out with friends. The jerk is living here and not even paying any friggin' rent. Just like her last slacker/moocher boyfriend. *rolls eyes*). I get that she has to "unwind" while she's at home. But I WANT TO SLEEP DAMNIT. And I CAN'T. And I might end up hurting somebody soon if they keep it up.

Oh yeah. And I can't just go out and sleep on the couch in the tv room because my niece is sleeping out there. And it was my mom's night off, which means she'll be up soon because she never sleeps past 6/7 on her nights off. So she'd have been pissed if I was out there anyways. (AND OMG THEY'RE STILL FUCKING GIGGLING.) ^{drugs are bad people}

Okay, I'm sorry. I just needed to rant b/c my online buddy is on vacation right now so I can't talk to her. It's too early to call any of my friends. And typing this has kept me from banging on the wall the way I have to when they're having sex and being loud. Because they're jerks like that and don't care that other people are in the house.