...I've got school tomorrow and I'm totally and completely freaking out about it right now. Like, it just hit me two minutes ago that I've got school in the morning, even though I've known for weeks that school starts tomorrow... And yeah. I'm only taking one class this semester because the other classes I need to take I can't get to or don't work with my schedule. So I'm going to be focusing more on getting a job besides just babysitting (because I've had almost no money for weeks now as I didn't have I didn't have to do a lot of babysitting over the holidays). Let me tell you, though... Applying is hard when you don't know how to put babysitting as your past job or whatever. Unfortunately I don't have any other experience, but I don't want to put nothing as dealing with kids and parents kind of prepares you for taking a lot of crap, you know? But yeah, I'm gonna make my sister help me with that one later.

But school is still freaking me out... Last semester I took ASL (American Sign Language) I. So this semester I'm taking ASL II. I've tried to keep up on my signs, make sure I can still remember some of the more basic ones. I can still say "I don't remember" "What's your name" "First" "Last" "Office" a bunch more. I'm not very good at actual sentences, but I remember more than I do after 1 semester in ASL than 3 years of Spanish. But I'm really nervous because last semester was, as my professor put it, 'baby signing'. Just learning the basics, how to ask questions, movement, fingerspelling, that kind of thing. This new semester is going to be focused on storytelling.

Now, last semester, every time we had a test we would do a warm up before we took it. Called "Pass It On". It was basically 'Telephone' only with signs, right? Well, the teacher would choose 4 people to go up in front of the class and 3 ppl would stand facing the white board while the other person stood facing the class and the teacher. Then the teacher would sign that person something and they would turn around, tap the person in front of them's shoulder and sign it to them, the so on until you reach the person in front and they have to write down what you just signed on the white board. And you'd go through until everyone wrote on the white board once. Well... we had 7 or 8 tests, right? I got chosen as part of that 4 all but 2 times. And I'm terrified to go up in front of anyone for anything. And that was just for warm-ups for signs I already know.

This semester is all about storytelling!! Which means more going in front of the class. By myself! And having to sign stories and get it right! *whimpers* I'm so freaking scared, you wouldn't believe. My teacher last semester said that the professor we get for ASL 2 will try to scare us into dropping (mostly just because everything is so much more difficult). He was giving us the warning to tell us not to give up, because it's worth it. And I believe it is worth it. I haven't yet put my signing to use for anything, but I have actually seen people signing in stores and stuff and I wouldn't have known what they were doing if I hadn't taken the class. It was a lot of fun last semester and the only class I got an A in when I checked my grades after finals. But I'm just so damn scared and nervous about having to go up in front of people and making a fool of myself (because I'm really good at that, especially when I'm nervous)... So, I just, needed to rant and get that out there.

Also, all this nervous energy has made me extremely restless and I'm crazy bored, so I'm going back and looking through my unfinished fics hoping to get more done so that I can update stuff or post something new soon! So, maybe my freaking out will benefit you guys, huh? lol

~wolfish willow