wolfish_willow

Masterpost

"Did you really think I would want to keep you around?" the angel asked scathingly as he walked around the shaking figure on the ground.

Sam lifted his head up slowly to peer at the man circling him. He let his head fall back to the hard ground as he tried willing his body to stop shaking. But it wouldn't listen to him. He was too busy reacting to the harsh words being spat at him. The words he knew were true, that he deserved to hear.

"Didn't you ever wonder why I wouldn't even consider marking you, claiming you like Castiel did with Dean? I know you think about it. Want it," Gabriel continued, pushing Sam flat against the ground and straddling his hips, "You know I know. And you realize the reason now, don't you? The reason I can't?" his voice mockingly caring as he brushed the hair off Sam's forehead gently, like all the times he had before when soothing him.

Sam wished he could block everything around him out, even as he pushed up against the fingers at his head. He didn't understand why he couldn't just be left alone. Why Gabriel insisted on reminding him of it. He thought it would be done, over with. The archangel was the one who ended what they had, there didn't seem to be a reason for this. He already knew how pathetic he was. That he was a screw-up. But he kept hearing the man he loved mocking him, felt his familiar weight on top of him.

"I had hoped I would be able to forget all that you had done," Gabriel said, his tone losing its mocking edge. He sounded so sincere. And it was made so much worse when he felt the archangel's fingers start to card through his hair just the way he would when Sam and him would just lay together in bed after some of their more stressful hunts. He leaned into the touch instinctively and a contented sigh escaped his lips before he could think when the angel's other hand found its way under his shirt, pressed directly over his left hip.

"I would have marked you right here."

The angel pressed down against Sam's hip painfully, causing him to try arching away. As he tried to pull himself away, Gabriel gripped his hair tight enough to rip it out.

"Stop moving, Sammy," his voice deceptively soft, in contrast with the hand tugging his head up enough to pull him from his spot on the ground - the fingers of his other hand gripping torturously at his hip. He gasped in pain, but stopped moving away from the other man. There was no stopping the tears that fell down his cheeks as his once-lover roughly dragged him to his feet.

Suddenly Gabriel was thrown back, hitting the ground with a thump. Sam had almost been taken down with him, but someone grabbed his arm gently before he could fall to the ground - thankfully Gabriel had released the grip on his hair before falling. The archangel appeared dazed as he shook his head slowly before moving to get up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, brother."

Sam whipped his head around so fast he wouldn't be surprised if he'd ended up with whiplash. There, holding his arm, stood Lucifer. The look on his face was one different to what he'd worn with Sam before. His eyes were hard and angry as he looked at Gabriel and Sam pulled his arm from the devil's grasp, taking a step away from both angels.

Lucifer turned to look at Sam and as his eyes fell on the young hunter his gaze softened. Then Sam woke up.

Sam bolted up in bed, his eyes wide and scared. He ran a hand slowly through his hair, checking for any of the soreness from having his hair pulled at so roughly but found that it felt fine. He lowered his hand and placed it over his heart, willing his breathing to slow down to a normal level while his eyes took in his surroundings.

The room was still dark, but the beginnings of morning were starting to peek their way through the closed curtains. Dean was lying on his stomach, dead to the world and snoring softly. Sam sighed in relief - the last thing he needed was his brother seeing him like that. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs of sleep that still remained before getting off his mattress. He stood for a moment, staring at his bed, trying to remember what had woken him up. When no answers jumped out at him he grabbed some clothes from his duffel and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Flipping the light switch on, he started at his own reflection in the mirror. He looked awful. There were dark, deep circles under his eyes. Dried tear-tracks streaked his cheeks and his eyes were red and puffy from the crying. Then it all came back to him. Him coming back with Dean to find Gabriel, Gabriel breaking up with him for being so pathetic, then falling asleep crying.

He shook his head in disgust while taking in his features. While he turned on the sink and splashed the icy water on his face the rest of the night came back to him. Gabriel reminding him of why they couldn't work, how worthless he was. He kept remembering even as he stepped into the shower to try and clean up. There was no getting rid of how he felt inside, but he could make himself presentable enough to not worry Dean.

It wasn't until he was running his fingers through his hair, rinsing out the shampoo, that the rest of it hit him. He blinked away fresh tears and set a hand gently against his left hip as he remembered Gabriel pressing against him so painfully. How he grabbed him by his hair and pulled him to his feet. How Gabriel fell to the ground and another arm held him up. How he turned and saw Lucifer standing there...

He gasped and rushed to turn the water off; the steamy air around him all of a sudden too oppressive, making it hard to take in breath. Lucifer had been there. It had all been a nightmare. Of course he was there. The only one left to care about the ex-demon blood junkie was the devil. No wonder Gabriel had dumped him. But if it was all a nightmare, maybe it hadn't been Gabriel at all... But Lucifer had told him not to get up, called him brother.

By the time Sam finished getting dressed he was no closer to knowing what was real or not. But he risked another glance in the mirror. There were still faint rings under his eyes, but it wasn't any worse than what they all normally had with the apocalypse raging around them. Color had returned to his cheeks and his eyes looked like he'd just finished a shower rather than that he'd been crying all night. As prepared as he could be to face his brother as though nothing was wrong, he exited the bathroom. Dean was still sleeping, though he had started to stir; he would probably wake up soon. Sam sat with his back against the wall and booted up his laptop - he had nothing better to do than research while waiting for his brother to wake and the rest of the day to begin.

Chapter Two                                                                                                                                                                                    Chapter Four



A/N: Just wanted to say, I have up to part 6 written out. I'll post part 4 when I'm finished writing part 7. This system motivates me to keep going because I love posting new stuff. So hopefully the wait won't be song long this time around.