Title: Mystery Spot Misunderstanding
Author: wolfish_willow
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: NC-17 overall (PG-13 this chapter)
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Spoilers: Mystery Spot, Changing Channels, The Monster at the End of This Book
Warnings: unbeta-ed.
Word Count: 1452
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just using them for a bit of fun. They belong to Kripke.
Summary: Gabriel goes all angsty, and Sam suffers for it.
Notes: This is an idea that has been eating away at me. I've written a bit more to it than this, but I wanted to post it and see if anyone would be interested in reading more. So let me know if you'd like to see this continued.

Masterpost

Gabriel fingered the spine of the book held loosely in his hand. A tortured sigh escaped his lips as he opened it and flipped through the pages. He didn't know why he felt compelled to read through it again. He'd lived it - created it, his mind whispered tauntingly. He'd been there himself, all those Tuesdays and the six months after that last Wednesday. All in the name of teaching Sam a lesson.

He shook his head angrily as hazel eyes darted to read the detailed descriptions of what Sam went through all those months without Dean - the extra months he'd had to suffer through because Gabriel couldn't actually be helpful. Couldn't bring himself to do something to actually get through the youngest Winchester's head. Instead he'd gone about it in a way he knew wouldn't help, but had seemed like the most amusing at the time.

The book made a dull thud as he dropped it to the floor in disgust. How did he ever let himself fall so far away from who he truly was? He pushed open the plain curtains and looked out into the parking lot of the motel the Winchester's had chosen for the week. His eyes stared, unseeing, at the setting sun as he internally berated himself. He didn't even notice when he'd let the curtains fall to block him from the outside world once more.

Nor did he notice the familiar rumble of the Impala or the motel door opening. What he did notice were the giant arms that wrapped themselves around his waist and the mop of hair that tickled the side of his face when Sam bent down to nuzzle his neck, a soft "Hey" being spoken into the pulse point. When normally any combination of those actions would have him smiling and nuzzling back - or smirking while he made a lewd comment - he couldn't bring himself to do either. Not when he'd just read the exact reason why none of that should be happening. Why he didn't deserve it.

Sam tensed behind him when he failed to respond and he chided himself for missing the human's warmth when Sam slowly let go of him and took a step back. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to turn and pull his lover back to him, but he couldn't do it. There was no way he should have what they had.

The air in the room became tense when no one did or said anything. It felt oppressive and something would have to give as it threatened to crush all of them. Gabriel turned his head in time to catch the meaningful look Sam gave Dean and averted his eyes to the small table standing at his left as Dean left the room. It wasn't until the Impala could no longer be heard that Sam gently turned Gabriel around to face him.

"What's up?" he asked hesitantly, rubbing his hands gently down his arms and taking hold of Gabriel's hands, his thumbs rubbing over the backs of them soothingly. Hearing the concern in Sam's voice only made archangel angrier with himself.

"What are we doing, Sam? I mean, who are we kidding here?" he asked, his voice low and cold.

Sam's hands let go of his slowly and he watched as the human took a small step back. His - not his, not anymore - human's eyes widened as he took in the words.

"What do you mean, Gabriel?" The man's voice shook, making him seem smaller in that moment. Gabriel watched as Sam shook his head slightly, as though hoping he heard wrong, hoping his ears would stop playing tricks on him.

Gabriel smiled, though it didn't meet his eyes. This would be the hardest thing he'd done in a long time. Even harder than his final decision to join Team Free Will. But he didn't see any other choice he had. This couldn't last and Sam would have figured it out eventually, when he realized how wrong Gabriel was for him. How there was no way he should have tried to forgive him for all he'd put him through.

"I'll keep helping, I promise that," he said, his voice unwavering. Had he been human, he knew his eyes would have been watering, and he was suddenly thankful that his emotions didn't always show themselves when he felt them.

The silence around them grew deafening as they stood and stared at each other, waiting. Sam for Gabriel to explain and Gabriel for Sam to see what he saw, the reason this was for the best. The moment the meaning behind Gabriel's words was understood Sam's face crumbled. His slightly slanted, hazel eyes filled with water and his bottom lip quivered slightly. He took a step in Gabriel's direction.

"What do you mean, Gabriel? Of course you're going to help us." he sniffled quietly, "What are you saying?"

Gabriel sighed and forced a shrug, not allowing himself to react to the crushed look Sam wore. "We can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. Like I said, I'll keep fighting with you, on your side. But this, you and me, it's gotta stop - "

He was caught by surprise when Sam gripped his arms and shook him, "You don't mean that." His voice was still shaking and Gabriel could see him trying to blink the tears away before they started to fall. "Why are you saying this, Gabriel? What did I do? I can fix it, I can do whatever you want, just why are you doing this?"

Gabriel gathered himself once more, but didn't understand how Sam could think he did something wrong. It was nothing Sam had done, but what the Trickster had. Finding out what was passing through his mind wouldn't have been difficult for the archangel, but he was too afraid of what he would find swirling around in there. He hadn't realized how much Sam was leaning on him until he pulled back from his grasp and Sam stumbled forward, his boot hitting the book he had dropped to the floor.

When Sam steadied himself he looked down at what he'd kicked. His eyes widened as he took in the title and he bent to pick it up. Gabriel avoided looking at Sam and the book, but he knew Sam was putting the pieces together.

"Mystery Spot..?" he asked, sounding tired and defeated, "This is why you're saying this right? You found this and decided it sounded like a fun read?" Gabriel watched as Sam's eyes met his and almost took a step back from the look he was given. Sam no longer only looked crushed, but hateful. Gabriel knew the youngest Winchester would realize just how much they couldn't work. He'd just needed reminding of all that the Trickster had put him through. And now he was getting the reaction he had wanted, though it didn't hurt any less to see that hatred directed at him.., again. But now he had that, and Gabriel could leave.

"Now you know why, it never would have worked..." he said before vanishing, the sound of feathers fluttering in his wake.

***

Sam shook his head roughly after Gabriel left him alone in the room, his long bangs falling to cover his eyes. His grip on the book had tightened enough to curl the paperback around in his hand. He let out a long, shaky breath and tossed the book on the motel table before removing his outer clothes and climbing into the bed furthest from the door. When staring at the ceiling did nothing to help his train of thought he rolled onto his side and tried to ignore the fact that he was alone. That Gabriel wasn't there to help him sleep, that Gabriel had just left him because of how pathetic Sam had been. How he had failed to learn the lesson the Trickster had tried to teach him all those months before Dean's deal came due.

He rolled over once more, facing the side of the motel with the curtained window and stared for a moment at the door before closing his eyes. He told himself that it wasn't that big a deal. They would win this war and then he would have proof that he could do something right. He didn't think about how much he'd come to lov- care for the archangel. He couldn't feel a lump in his throat or a tightening in his chest. And he certainly didn't cry himself to sleep. Because only someone truly pathetic would do that. He kept telling himself this, even as he got the first taste of salt against his lips.

Chapter Two